That one feeling.

You know that feeling? Maybe you don't. But I do.
The feeling that... well, frankly, that nobody likes you?
I'd lived my entire life in a puddle of esteem issues and self doubt that kept me from becoming the person I wanted to be. And at some point last year, I got fed up with it and I realized that breaking out of my shell and becoming who I wanted to be went hand in hand with developing the confidence I'd always wanted.
And all of the sudden, I liked who I was. Things weren't perfect, but I was happy. I got myself in the mindset I wanted to be in. It was the realization that things would never be perfect, and I had to be okay with that knowing that I like who I am and where I am, and that's what matters. That's what builds happiness.
But that insecure little girl is still inside of me. And lately, she's been dragging her way out and pulling me down.
A few weeks ago, someone told me, "You just get everything. I know you don't ask for it, but you just seem to get everything. And that leaves people bitter."
I don't get everything. I guess I get all the things I never asked for and didn't particularly want, but none of the things I'd kill to have. And even when they're things I didn't ask for, I'm not going to angry that I received them. This is probably too vague to understand, but oh well.
Still, she was right. It leaves people bitter.
When I do things wrong, it leaves people bitter. When I do things right, it leaves poeple bitter.
And even though I have some really great people in my life who love me, lately I've been feeling like I have a world of opponents. People who, for no good reason, don't want me to succeed. I don't know of a single person that I've actually given a reason to crave my failure. And I don't know why, but I get this awful feeling lately that it's me against the world.
No matter what happens to me, it's hard to be happy for myself when everybody is refusing to be happy for me. I'm sick of being treated like I don't deserve to accomplish what I have.
I am where I am for a reason. I'm not on top of the world. I'm nowhere near it. But I'm on the climb; I'm off the ground. Don't try to pull me down.
I know this is the stupidest post in the world. I know that.
But it comes down toa simple statement. It's as if nobody is on my side. I can't make you like me, but I can tell you this: I've done everything I can to gain your support. I deserve it now.