Like the wind, years go by.

The way I see it, today is my sixteenth birthday. It's making me pretty nostalgic (and really really cheesy), looking back on my childhood. I miss the little girl I used to be, but I'm fascinated with the young woman I'm becoming. Sweet sixteen today, she's looking more like her mama a little more every day. One part woman, the other part girl. To perfume and makeup from ribbons and curls, trying her wings out in a great big world. This song makes me cry. I wish my dad would stop playing it. But hey, that's just the way I see it.

But whichever you pick, do it quick, 'cause you're starting to stick to the steps of the palace.

The way I see it, I've always had this idea that happiness is much more than the absence of tragedy. Just because you're not brokenhearted and miserable doesn't mean you're happy. I feel like a lot of people act like because there aren't horrendous events happening all around you, you should be happy. But I think it takes a little more than that. If there's always something missing in your life, it doesn't take the realization that you aren't surrounded by death and destruction to make you completely satisfied with your life. I'm not miserable. But I'm not really happy either. Because I know things could be a lot better, and I'd rather they be. Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative of all that I do have in my life. But I've never been a settler. I can do better, have better, achieve better, realize better, experience better, and you're damn right I'm not going to be satisfied until I do. I'm happy periodically. But the kind of happy I'm talking about is the kind where everything is all and right in your life. And I kind of think that one day, when everything is all and right for me, I'll be glad that I never settled for less. Because I'll truly understand and appreciate what I've stumbled upon. Maybe I'll write myself a thank you note. 'Dear self, thanks. You know, for never giving up hope.' Until that day, I'll be happy to admit that I'm not truly happy. It's okay with me, I guess. That's what I am, I'm okay. I'm going, breathing, speaking, moving, living. And I'm okay. I could go after that happiness, and risk that everything will hurt and nothing will be okay anymore...or I could tread water. I can bank my okay, knowing it'll be there until I come across that little piece that was missing, the piece that finishes the happiness puzzle. So then which do you pick? Where you're safe, out of sight, and yourself but where everything's wrong? Or where everything's right and you know that you'll never belong? But hey, that's just the way I see it.

When you're happy, the whole world is New York.

The way I see it, well...it's been awhile since I've written on here. Sorry blog. I miss you too. Lately, I've come to realize the truth behind a really cliché saying: chase your dreams. But really, the best piece of advice I know how to give is to follow your dreams. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my own dreams. I used to limit my own goals and apsirations. I tried to make other reasons for blocking out my real dreams, but the truth was that secretly I was always telling myself: "you can't do that, so why get your hopes up?" I finally stood up to myself. Because if I never try, if I never test my aspirations and abilities, how will I ever know how far I can go or how much I can achieve? I recognize something in myself. I'm not sure what it is...it's like a fire. A fire that desperately needs to be fed, because the flame will go out if I neglect it anymore. It's burns for the sake of dreaming. It knows that I can do more than I am doing. It knows my strengths and my goals and my desires and my talents. A friend made a metaphor to me about things that stand in the way of dreams: "But those are brick walls we have to get over. Brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it bad enough." I am capable of so much more. I am destined for bigger things. I'm ready to live a life that's...well, larger than life. A life where the bright lights flash and old style jazz music plays in the background. I responded to that friend with "I know myself better than anyone else. I know my dreams and talents and passions and they're strong enough to push down anything in my way. Because I love and respect myself too much not to go after my wants with every morself of my being. I know I'm capable of bigger things. And they're waiting for me on the other side of that wall." I know I'm meant for things bigger than me. And I can do those things. Nothing and no one, oh the GOOD LORD IS MY WITNESS: NO ONE, will stand in the way of that. Not a single soul that feels, a single mind that thinks, a single heart that beats, a single resperatory system that pumps air continuously through the lungs, not a single set of veins, intertwined so artistically that it never stops pumping liter after liter of bloods through a single human body will stop me from being who I am meant to be, who I very well intend to be. Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood for shame, she says none for you dear prince, I'm tired today. I'd rather sleep my whole life away than have you keep me from dreaming. Except unlike Sleeping Beauty, God love her, I'm awake. And I'm ready to chase, for miles and miles. To chase whatever it is that will make me happy. It wants me back just as badly as I want it. And I'm not going to let it go to waste. I'm not going to let my life go to waste, because I know it was meant for great, beautiful, twisted, unimaginable things. Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to. If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you. Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade? But hey, that's just the way I see it.

Can we all just try and play the same song? Just for the sake of our sanities.

The way I see it, it's not like anyone wakes up every morning, goes to my blog and prays for a new post. I don't think anyone even reads this thing. But to any of you that might, I sincerely apologize for not posting hardly anything anymore. I know everyone has heard the "I don't have time" excuse about everything. But really, my life consists of no sleep no sleep no sleep, sponge rollers sponge rollers sponge rollers digging into my head, Glass Menagerie Glass Menagerie Glass Menagerie go to the moon Tennessee Williams, snapping at everyone around me snapping at everyone around me snapping at everyone around me because I'm always crappy, Opinion pages Opinion pages Opinion pages it's my first issue as an editor, Thoroughly Modern Millie Thoroughly Modern Millie Thoroughly Modern Millie not for the life of ME, finals finals finals I NEVER ACTUALLY LEARNED THIS STUFF, And Turning Stay monologue And Turning Stay monologue And Turning Stay monologue I might not even be using, mourning Glee mourning Glee mourning Glee which happens to be my favorite part of my life (That's totally not sick at all. Obsession? I don't know what you're talking about.) So um...yeah, I hardly have time to breathe anymore. ONE MORE WEEK. I need winter break. Just so I don't physically break in half. But hey, that's just the way I see it.

As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly.

The way I see it, I'm sick of restrictions. I came home today after hearing that by the rules written in plain English in a handbook, I have no chance of succeeding in something that I care about. And it really bummed out. Tears in my eyes (not to be melodramatic or anything...haha), I realized that I'd forgotten how much I loved Wicked. Cliché? Yes, but there's a reason it's so popular (OMG PUN I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE I DID THAT). And today, after an hour of crying, a serious feeling of hopelessness and a pounding headache, I was reminded how to defy gravity. And nobody in all of Oz, no wizard that is or was is ever gonna bring me down. But hey, that's just the way I see it.